Trust...In Yourself and In Others

Have you ever had anyone in the family learn to play the violin?

It's not easy.

There's no way to escape the scratches and jangled sounds, is there?

Not even with a really nice set of Bose headphones cranked all the way up.

It sets everything on edge.

But...with the generosity of spirit of those around the student, and with dedication and effort on the part of the student, the skills are gained enough to make beautiful sounds emerge from that very same instrument that was generating the acoustic torture!

It wasn't the violin.

It was the learning.

And with time, and interest to do well, the violin student gains the skills and beautiful music is played!




I'm learning.

All of us are.

At the hospital, my 'I love myself enough to love myself enough' is showing itself in key areas. Food is one of them. A local sandwich shop, Lee's, donated sandwiches and Vietnamese coffees to the entire O.R.

This will clue you in to the non-verbal, queen-bee emotional struggles of females.

The director of the O.R. was cutting the sandwiches in half, right through the wrapper, to make sure there was enough. And everyone was eating their sandwiches (without social distancing LOL!) in the break room.

I am a woman. I can't use the doctor's bathroom because it's for men. It's off the doctor's lounge. I also can't dress in the doctor's locker room because that is for men. I have to use the nurse's one. Same for the microwave. The doctor's lounge doesn't have one.

But in times like this, there's a territoriality, and I have to wait for the nurses to say it's okay for me to join in on their lunch. It can be scrub tech week, whatever.

I didn't ask. I knew better. I went to the cafeteria.

Four hours later, and I had really wanted one of those iced 'crack' coffees--there were leftovers, and THEN I was invited by the O.R. director to eat.

Am I a human garbage machine?  No. I loved myself enough to stay with my stuff I had brought from home. An artichoke. Coleslaw from the red cabbage I grew. Natto. Fruit.

I know from bar rescue a drink is only 'good' within less than a minute from when it's served. That Vietnamese coffee's ice had all melted.

I said, 'yes' to abundance, prosperity, love and 'no' to the ambassador of the philosophy of Lack.

It's important.

Incidentally, the hospitals are removing the zones designated for the Covid patients. They are terrified that people won't want to get surgery because the signs of the Covid zones remind people the Covid is there. They say, 'oh it's hardly any cases!'

I had one who was being worked up, the 'test' was negative but they were on the azithromycin/ HCQ/Zinc for days. The case was bronchoscopy. Super high generating aerosol. So I asked for the PAPR. I did full everything as if it was legit Covid, except I took the patient straight up to ICU.  Nice guy. I did some important healings with Raphael through my proximity to the Covid. Spirit was glad for it.

But the 'lack' philosophers are cutting corners and not playing nice.

A hand surgeon told me that our scrub tech from last week when we worked together is on quarantine for exposure. Nobody had said peep to me, and I was exposed. She was too. I'm glad she has my back.

But back to the hospitals...we don't have visitors...and this brings us to our next topic... ; )



You should hear the men!

I heard one calling his wife 'the warden'!  Like JAIL warden!

One told me, in confidence, that his wife could cure the Covid. If it infected her, she would get so angry at it that all of the Covid viruses would leave the PLANET because they knew to get the heck out of her way!

Hmmmmm....

Looks like the status quo isn't working for the men, either.  Women impose 'the rules' to make sure that they get their 'security' and the men have to suffer for it.

It's not a perfect system. This I know.

I've heard from close people, scrub techs, who talk to me, that they have to fight themselves all the time, and keep reminding themselves of their partner, because they just aren't built to be monogamous.

Spirit, I hear you.

I listen.

I understand.

On the one part, Spirit, hear me out--penis worship/Baal--has taken society into a darkness of pornography and pedo phil stuff -- I don't think such 'encounters' for sexual 'exchange' are helping the vibrational rate of either partner. In fact I would assert that any negative spiritual entities or dark entities are having a field day and multiplying themselves too across both the partner's energy systems!

Back home, we are free.

So how do we get from here, to how things are at Home?

By repeating to yourself, every day, all day long, 'I love myself to love myself enough'  and establishing TRUST in a system of the new, and furthermore, becoming a philosopher in the concept of abundance and prosperity.

When I am Home, I have to block certain things out.   I just don't want to know about my husband's activities besides Raziel and Ross -- who I know are as true as it gets. I just know. The others 'get around', and I know it. I don't want the pictures in my head of what happens. I don't want to know the partners. They take great strides to reassure me that the piece of them I get is just for me, and it's special.

I don't like thinking of souls like a candy bar to share and to consume.

They are honorable souls, I know this to my core, and I am fortunate for the connection and the ability to learn/apprentice from them. There is commitment, this I sense too.

Fortunately, back home, you aren't as fertile as here, so there's no real ramifications of 'accidents' and someone having to support the offspring from the unions. It's different, not sure how it works, but both have to decide together up front to create a child.

So as we learn, gently and gingerly, to adapt from a philosophy of lack in the relationship department, to a philosophy of abundance and prosperity in affection, please be mindful of the lessons of the violin student.

And if the men would like to learn a little more, to make it easier, your homework is Erzulie. Learn to honor her. In everyone you would like to know, um, a little better as 'very close friends'.  There are two, but the one with the pink is the one I'm talking about.

Enough said.



When you grow enough in Spirit, and can envision the actions of the ASSC as this family here--the little one wants to feel the power of the garden hose and 'inflict it' on those bigger than them...we are home free.

Ironically, I have little to no feelings for the snake-man these days, although there is someone who blogs about him Therese I actually know from the conferences long times ago. So I see his stuff.  He had yet another person leave abruptly and talk trash about him. From what I know, there's been Alexandra Meadors, me, the person who made the first website for him down in South America, and now this organizer of the Hungarian trip.

Always question.

Be astute in that lots of info and disinformation thrown in to make it palatable.

See what resonates with you.

And with that, I'd like to gossip!

What the fuck is going on with people liking to wear robes and shit? You know, like the ASSC in their rituals?

We have choir singers in certain kinds, religious leaders wearing them, judges...it must go back to something pre-Egypt I don't know.

But there seems to be a connection between positions of leadership, and power--magical or heavenly or whatever--and wearing these damn ROBES! LOL.

WTF?

I think if we can snag that part of the ego and cure it--the one that thinks, 'hey, I'm something special' when you are wearing one--I thing we are a heck of a lot closer to Home.

Here's something to reflect upon:

• Jim Jones in Guyana
• Branch Davidians in Waco, Texas
• Order of the Solar Temple in Cheiry and Salvan, Switzerland
• Heaven's Gate in Rancho Santa Fe, near San Diego, California